Insecurity And A Balanced Life
One of my biggest areas of insecurity as a parent is sick kids. I NEVER know what to do when my kids are sick, and it hasn’t changed with my oldest being ten. Should I go to the doctor? Should I wait it out? If I go and pay a $30 copay, and he’s not sick, I will be wasting money. Do I get the prescription filled or will she become immune to antibiotics? Go to school or stay home? Fever or just hot in our house? No fever or broken thermometer? Rash or red magic marker? Stomach bug or bad food? Bend your wrist up, bend it down, this way, that way, no, it’s not broken, go to bed. What if it’s broken and I just sent my kid to bed? All kids have those lumps in their necks; it’s okay as long as they move around. Right? I am right? Right?
I keep singing this song in my head Where could I go but to the Lord? Just don’t go to WebMD!
First, may I appeal to logic? The Lord loves your children more than you do. He always has and always will know the depths of who they are beyond our capacity of understanding. His love cannot be outdone. “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge…” (Ephesians 3:17b-19a)
And, next, the heart. The gospel has to so penetrate our hearts that everything is out of focus compared to him. Our hearts can be transformed to love God above all else — do not misunderstand — we are still in the flesh and will fear, become anxious and allow our imaginations to run wild — but our hearts can be reassured with peace, being reminded with His Spirit that our identity is staked in a secure foundation. Love for God and identity in Christ must exceed the heart and identity of “mother.”
I confess, it’s suffocating to say those words because I know my idols. I am often convicted of loving my children more than God and plagued by fear and insecurity because of my sin. I’m grateful for grace and a God who continues to point me toward his truth.
Lastly, the will. Do you submit your will? His Spirit gives the strength needed. In submitting to God’s authority, we experience the true joy and relaxation that yielding produces. As parents, we must lay down our wills daily before the Father whose will is perfect.
What is your greatest insecurity as a parent?
With mind, heart and will balanced, our insecurities can be subdued.